the meeting Iowan 86′

So last week my friends and I had a meeting with dean from UTM and an Iowan’s alumni. Such an epic meeting. He was so happy to be back in Iowa City, visiting his lecturers and places that he used to hang out. Imagine, after 25 years. they treated us dinner. and we had some talk/discussion sort of. It opened my eyes. Yes, now I know what I want to be. now I know it is not impossible to get back my dreams. Now I know I can still be what i want to be. Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah for meeting me with them. It was a pleasure and indeed, Allah listens to my prayers. Thank you Allah.

future

What I want to be?
What is my real ambition?
What I want to be after I graduate?
What kind of job I want to pursue?
What is my real interest?
Do I even have one?

these are the questions that I really don’t know how to answer them. I know, these are supposed to be answers for my future. I have like one year plus before I graduate. I really need to figure out the answers for these questions.

I miss them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am missing my chentas. All of you. Azira, Alya, Nadia, Mya, Tasnim, Afiq, Fathin, Marwan, Aiman, Baim. They are my best friends and no one can replace them. I miss you all. I really do. *sobbing*

wake up!

I don’t understand why people are being so negative about not being able to study abroad. I really don’t like the statement like “oh you’re studying in United States? That’s great! I’m just a diploma student in local university.” duh! wake up people. it is not about where you study! It is about your determination, about how you grab every opportunities in front of you, and it is about LEARNING!

maybe yes, studying abroad does have some advantages, like different learning environment. and there are things that you can get here but not in your own country. There are good things that you can adopt and you should not. Honestly for me, it does not matter where you study, the most important is what you learn! Stop comparing where you and them study, but compare what you both have learned! Be proud of what you have achieved, be proud of your efforts, that you have worked hard all this time! and be thankful to Allah, that He gave you the opportunity to learn HIS knowledge.

Alhamdulillah Allah bagi saya rezeki macam ni. Semua orang ada rezeki masing-masing yang Allah bagi. Bersyukur lah dengan apa yang Allah bagi anda. Serious. Syukur and hargai. Sebab bila-bila masa je Allah boleh tarik balik. 

fairy-tale wedding

When people talked about marriage, I have mixed of feelings in me. Who does not want to get married? I believe, every human being wants to get married; even if they deny it, deep inside them, they do want to be a married woman/man.

well, this was my wedding dream. Beach wedding; beautiful, and white wedding gown with long veil and tiara; eight layers of chocolate moist cake (as my favorite number is 8); grand wedding; the dais (pelamin) should be like king+queen like; and I want everyone, many people attending my wedding; and I want a perfect wedding. 

well, that was. The dream changed as my age is getting older. I’m 22 now, what do you expect? No more fairy-tale like wedding. Because I realized, wedding is not about you and only you. It is about you and people that you love. It is about being together with whom you love. It is about starting a new life. It is about getting together with your family, your big family. I don’t have a perfect definition about wedding. It is not about how much you have spent for your wedding, but how much will you value your wedding, your love towards your partner, your responsibilities as a wife/husband, and of course, towards your religion and Allah. and if you ask me, am I ready to get married? half of me will say yes, and half will say no. I do not know whether I am ready to let go my ego for my husband, listen to him, ask permission from him in everything. I don’t know. Oh no, don’t worry. I’m not getting married next week/next year. Just my thought. HAHA

yes, indeed, no more Disney princesses wedding.

it is like that.

Because sometimes you don’t know how you feel, you don’t know whether you still care or not, you don’t know what you like, you don’t know how long can you still hold on to that, you don’t know whom you should trust, you don’t know whether he still loves you or not, you don’t know to whom to talk to, you don’t know what to expect, you just don’t know. and you don’t want to trust, to expect anymore. it is like that.

but you know one thing. You can rely on HIM. solely on HIM.

hey best friend,

dearest best friend, Siti Noor Azira,

I am dedicating this post for you. especially for you because I’m missing you so much.

It has been 5 months since the last time we met. Right? I’ve been missing you since then. I know I have wonderful friends here, but none of them can replace you. I miss our gossip times, how I always talked to you about me and ‘him’, and my little inner conflict, my problems, everything! I talked to you about everything, right? I miss our hang outs, our sleepovers, our midnight talks when we sleepover, our talks and laughs when you were driving…haih, I miss almost everything!

I’m sorry if i’ve been busy and have less time with you. but I never, ever forget you. best friend, I am so sorry I am this far from you. I am so sorry I could not be there for you. do take care of yourself. kalau tension, do something yang boleh release kan tension you. study smart, jangan teruk2 sangat. jangan next time i jumpa u, u dah tinggal tulang je. Eat well and do some exercise okay?

hey best friend, I miss you. and please tell me that you miss me too!

Lots of love from your far away best friend.

reminder.

Salam, peace be upon you. All of you.

I am currently in Laramie, Wyoming, having a great leisure time with a Sudanese family. Oh well, their daughter is so adorable. I love her so much.

Do you remember in my previous post I talked about my so not good result? Yes, NOT GOOD. I was very depressed. though I know I’m in my road trip, right? and you know what, one of my best friend posted something on my Facebook wall. something that I wrote in my own blog. He kind of reminding me of what I said, of what my mum told me. I am so glad to have him as my best friend. Well yes, indeed, Allah counts the effort. insyaAllah, I’ll keep that in my mind. EFFORTS! and NAWAITU!

Mohd Afiq bin Abdullah, thank you so much.