“The world revolves around me”

The statement is definitely wrong.

Dulu I talktative, I suka express apa I rasa. Kalau I x puas hati, I suka tanya direct, or bagitahu direct, and kalau boleh, nak bagi tahu satu dunia perasaan I. Dulu I rasa, I je yang betul. Orang lain semua salah. Tapi tu dulu. Sekarang I lebih suka diam diri, biar lah apa orang nak kata, apa orang nak buat, I x kisah. I lebih suka diam, dan pendam perasaan sorang-sorang. (kalau korang rasa I emo sekarang, dulu I jauh lebih emo). Can imagine? 

So the point here is, yes, ada perubahan yang baik, ada perubahan yang tak berapa nak baik.

“This is new me. whether you like it or not, you have to accept it.”

Seriously? dulu I pernah cakap macam tu, sebab I rasa, orang yang kawan dengan I, kena lah terima I. tak nak terima, x perlu nak kawan, kan?

Mungkin statement di atas boleh guna kalau berubah personality ke arah kebaikan, tetapi kalau ke arah keburukan, rasa-rasa, boleh guna x?

Tapi cuba fikir balik, kita hidup kat dunia ini, bukan untuk please manusia kan? Redha Allah yang kita cari, kan? dan Allah pun dah kata, kita kena jaga hubungan dengan Allah, dan juga sesama manusia. Kita kena layan orang sebagaimana kita nak orang layan kita. Tapi personally, I rasa, kita kena layan orang dengan baik sebab kita kena jaga hak Allah. but that does not mean we have to layan non muhram dengan lebih-lebih. Ikhlas is the word here. yes, susah nak measure ikhlas. Tak boleh pun. Tapi hati tu Allah pegang, so takpe, tak perlu risau, asalkan kita dah cuba yang terbaik, Allah tahu. Dan, kalau kita terasa dengan orang tu ke, orang ni ke, xpe, mengadu kat Allah, nanti Allah pulihkan balik hati kita. Sebab hati kita Allah pegang! dan, kita reflect balik, mungkin, ada salah kita mana-mana, kita tak tahu, kan? Kalau bukan salah dengan dia, mungkin salah kita pada orang lain? Who knows, right?

Jangan lah rasa this world has to accept me as who I am. yes, this world has to accept me as a muslim. but as a person, if I think this world has to accept me as a very emotional person, then I am definitely wrong.

I tulis this post sebab I rasa I still sangat lemah dalam bab-bab layan orang ni sebab emotion yang terlalu mudah menguasai diri. I still belajar. So I minta maaf pada kawan-kawan dan semua orang yang I pernah sakitkan hati. I takut, kalau Allah ambil nyawa I sekejap lagi, I tak sempat nak minta maaf. I bukan jenis yang reti nak confront depan-depan. so I boleh tulis je. I minta maaf.  and kalau kita nak orang maafkan kita, kita mestilah ada sifat pemaaf juga, kan?

and I personally think that the only who can accept us for who we are, our weaknesses and our strengths, after Allah, are our family. So really, appreciate them. be nice, be good to your parents, your siblings. jangan baik dengan kawan, adik beradik layan macam orang asing. Should not be that way, kan?

Really, Thank you for my family and my friends for their patience with my unstable emotion. Love, biar sampai syurga 🙂

This post is simply based on my observations, my thoughts, from what I listened, and my readings. 

p/s: kepada penculik kucing saya, takpe, saya maafkan anda. semoga Allah buka hati anda untuk berubah, dan pulangkan kembali kucing kami.

towards the end…

The journey is going to its end, pretty soon. I may not ready for the next path, but sure I will walk through it, with pride, and dignity.

Why worries for what’s coming when Allah has everything set for you? Indeed, He knows the best. He is All-Knowing. So smile and believe.

Yes, maybe I am worried. Work, masters, and others but what can worries do? Work it out! and pray!

kan?

being in final semester of my degree (inshaAllah) is not that easy. every seconds you are worried about what to do next. about going back home for good. about leaving all the pleasures you have in this country. about leaving the people you love. about your graduation trip, whether to have it or not. about your final grades. and the list goes on. It won’t end.

and last week in Br. Bashir’s lecture, he told us, “The trip is the most important. live it.” (quoted, and edited)

yes, enjoy it. you might not get the second chance to have what you have today.

right?

till next time. inshaAllah.

p/s: I am in love with this new theme provided by wordpress. smile!

reality check

Assalamualaykum dear readers.

I have some stories to share. They are kind of funny but they are reality.

Story number 1:

It happened in my first semester here. I was sitting in the bus, on my way back from mall. An old man came and sit in front of me. She looked behind to say hi to me. and I replied with a simple hi and a smile. I was tired and not hoping for any conversation. Then he asked me about my religion, whether I am a Muslim, seeing that I wear hijab. Yes I am a muslim. He extended the conversation and asked me about my nationality and stuff.

He: where are you from?
Me: Malaysia. It is somewhere in Asia.
He: How does it look it? What religion do you have in your country? Is Muslim the majority in Malaysia?
Me: yes, Islam is the majority. Malaysia is good. It is hot all the time.
He: Do you have Christians in Malaysia?
Me: yes we do.
He: So there are church?
Me: Yes.
He: Do you fight with each other all the time? Muslims and Christians?
Me: No. Malaysia has many religions, not just Christians and Islam. We have Buddha, Hindu as well. We respect each others religion. We don’t fight.

He admitted that he thought we always fight with  other religions. and he has that typical view of Islam. you know what it is, right? So yeah, I had no idea where he got that courage to talk to me if he has that thinking.

That is reality.

Story number 2:

I was waiting for the Shuttle bus when a friend of mine came to me. He is a Chinese. We said hi and talked a bit about our classes and stuff. Then suddenly he looked at me, trying to see whether I have hair! I took a step back. Then he asked me whether I am bald?! I wanted to laugh like seriously because I thought he was joking but I know he was serious. I did not answer hence I asked him the reason of his question.

Me: why are you asking that question?
He: I just wanted to know. I heard that a muslim woman has to shave their hair after they get married, so that’s why they wear the scarf.
Me: I am not married, and where did you hear that?
He: I don’t remember. somewhere.

rasa nak marah pun ada jugak. tapi dia memang tak tahu apa-apa, sebab tu tanya, kan? xpe lah. so I told him that statement is not true. Then the bus came. The end.

Those are just two of some conversations I had with non-muslim. There are just so many misunderstandings about us. Sedih it is but I think it is our job to portray the beauty of Islam, kan? and not to do it to impress the world, but because we love Allah, we love Islam, and we  love prophet Muhammad. kan?

wallahualam. right me if I am wrong.

till then.