May 12 2012

University of Iowa Spring 2012 Commencement Ceremony. tears, happiness, laughter, the mixed of emotions.

6 of them. Atikah, Baihaqi, Junaidi, Basyir, Hafiz, and Faris. It was a very simple event. I mean it. simple. But a very meaningful event to those who graduated from University of Iowa. Being here, being in where they went through, a simple graduation ceremony means a lot. A lot than just being graduated, and getting a degree. Graduated from University of Iowa means you are a survivor. A survivor of the challenges, hardships, unrest days, zombie-zone nights, A SURVIVOR!

They will leave. Iowa City will of course miss them. Maybe it will be different here. We will feel the lost. There will be less one person in our weekly halaqah. Less one girl in our ‘Bulatan Gembira.’ Of course, it will be different.

Congratulations to the graduated people. you guys have made it! and all the best in your upcoming undertakings.

goodbyes have never been easy. yup the fact that we are going to meet again makes it less painful but it will be different. 

The most challenging one, yet I survived

Alhamdulillah, today, a very good Friday, I ended my Spring 2012 semester with a huge smile. Alhamdulillah, some of the grades were out.

Spring 2012 was a tough one. Toughest semester I had so far. I had so many break downs. There were moments when I just lose myself. My motivations were gone, my spirit were missing in action. And this semester, I have to admit, my relationship with HIM was not as good as my previous semester. But Alhamdulillah, He did not let me go astray. He guided me back to HIM when I was lost, when I felt lonely, when I thought I have no one to talk to. For HE is the only one I can depend on.

The night before my final papers, I had a major break down. I was just lost, I was an inch away from giving up. really. for real. Then I took my phone and just called home. Called mama. and I cried and cried and cried non stop. Mama’s words have never failed to calm me. NEVER. not even once. She knows her daughter very well. She never force me to do things that i don’t like. and one thing, she always, always told me to revise my nawaitu. yes, I think I have to do that. every minutes.

Oh one funny thing happened today. My beautiful friends and I were having a picnic at City Park. and we were talking about being married and we were joking around about getting a husband and told them to find one for us. and suddenly one of them took it seriously. She offered her help! She told us to give what characteristics we were looking for and our bios/resume etc and she will find us a husband. and I was speechless and I could only laugh. It was so funny.

Oh well, happy holiday people. Summer is here and Malaysia is calling me home.

I will make my decision soon, soon, after I have refresh my mind, my heart, and my spirit. and do my istikharah.