This place called my country.

“When you think that life is being cruel to you, take a step back, take deep breath, close your eyes, and think about the beautiful futures, and love ones.”

A month plus since my touchdown. Alhamdulillah, I am adapting, slowly. Taking baby steps. I just need more time. But sometimes, the ridiculous issues that people raised, distressed me. And this coming election, is a proof of how uncivilized the politicians are (not all). I am not on either party. Yes, I refused to talk about politics, neither trying to be attentive to it. But I know, I have the responsibility towards my country. So the least I could do, is to update myself about the current issues. regardless the relevance of the raised issues.

Just please, stop using dirty tricks as your method to win people’s vote. The muslim politicians humiliating each other is very a disgraceful and dishonorable act. Shameful. Not just the politicians, the extreme followers are not much different. They claimed that they know Islam, and called themselves ‘islamic,’ but by saying those negative words, by insulting, are they truly portraying a good muslim’s beliefs? This is indeed, very frustrating. I had the chance to observe along the Presidential Election at the United States. I was very impressed with the debates, the policies, and the systems. They have freedom of speech, yet they focused on their strategies and manifestos to win people’s votes. There were extremists, no doubt.

But still,

“The end does not justify the means.”

Our aim, and our end, that a muslim should be working on, is the most important. It is just so heartbreaking to see the fights among the muslims, and the trending outrageous fashion and cultures. and yet, we claim that we are a ‘muslim country’? Heart wrenching.

It’s just. So different. I am not as excited as I was during the US Election. I am sorry. But still, I love my country. No doubt.

Iowa City, Jan 8 2013

From my journal

Iowa City, Jan 8 2013

It is the final day. Walked along Ped Mall for the last time. Reminiscing the memories with the girls. Different feeling. Sad. T.Spoon, my favorite study place, and my favorite caramel macchiato. Then had my final coffee at Java House. With Hann and Aqilah. Tiramisu. The best I ever had. Blissful. Drive for the last time. Enjoyed the stunning evening view of Pentacrest and Old Capitol from the car. Iowa City, where I met all the best people in my life. Where I had the best, or the greatest times of my life. Tough road yet memorable. I’m leaving for real. No more coming back here. For real. As this car drove off Kak Shida’s workplace, I am leaving my heart here.

Will there be my second time?

“Don’t worry, I will not forget you. you are my favorite.”

“Face it, embrace it. No matter how hard.”

“It won’t heal.”